The Five-year-old Ponders Death, Brotherhood, and Food Choices

Me: When are you old enough to drive?
Boy One: When you are older than one-hundred.
Me: Then why am I allowed to drive if I am not one-hundred yet?
Boy One: Are you ever going to be one-hundred?
Me: I hope so, but it will be a long time before that happens. Do you think you will make it to one hundred?
B1: Um-hum.
Me: What makes you think so?
B1: Because!
Me: What do you think you will do when you are one hundred years old?
B1: I think I'll have a wheel-chair.
Me: Where do you think you'll go in a wheel chair?
B1: I want to go on an airplane.
Me: Where do you want to go on the airplane?
B1: To visit you, but not if you're dead.
Me: If were dead, where would you want to go?
B1: To visit my kids, if I had any.
Me: How many kids do you think you want to have?
B1: A googol!
Me: That's not going to work.
B1: Fine. Like three.
Me: That sounds more manageable. Where do you want to live with your kids?
B1: In South America. I want to live in South America.
Me: Why South America?
B1: No, I change my mind. I want to live here, in this apartment.
Me: Why do you want to live right here?
B1: Because, I want to live right in this apartment.
Me: Why? What do you like about it here?
B1: I want to live with Boy 2 forever, until he or I is dead.
Me: I hope that is a really long time from now.
B1: It is.
Me: What do you think you two would eat if I wasn't here?
B1: Candy.
Me: You are probably right. You are probably right.







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