Most of the time, as I drive, I listen to NPR.
It makes me feel up-to-date. It makes me feel like part of what is going on in the world. It makes me feel intelligent, knowledgeable, connected.
But then, sometimes, as I drive, I listen to music...
Then I am 16 again, lost in the world and free to be foolish, free to scream the words as I drive down Bolsa Chica Street. Free to yell. Free to be.
Most of the time, as I live, I am constrained.
Constrained by my desires, by my children, by my expectations.
But then, sometimes, as I live, I listen to music, and I forget...
I forget, and I live, completely on accident.
I forget to plan, to consider, to organize, and I just be. I forget what I look like, how others perceive me. I just sing along, and I be. I sing along, and I am.
To live more and plan less? I only dream.
Maybe in the next decade.
For in this one?
Perhaps the realization is more than enough.
Perhaps the knowing and the being take years to get to know each other.
Perhaps I can plan to be what I think I should be sometime in the future, sometime that is not now, sometime that is yet to be.
May there be more being as I drive along.
May I remember to forget to plan...
May I forget what I am trying to be and just be what I am...
And may I always feel free to sing along.