Is This a Purse or a Diaper Bag?

Unfortunately, it is my purse, and in my efforts to make it more like an elegant woman's satchel and less like a grumpy toddler's carry-all, I came across the following items:

- a baby blanket
- two diapers, both unused
- the book, The White Queen, of which I have read three pages
- my wallet (One point for me!)
- a batman hat
- a pair of (clean) underwear (Bless my luck!)
- a apple sauce pouch lid
- a white handkerchief (One point)
- lipstick (Bonus points! This counts as two, bringing my total up to four.)
- a receipt for Boy One's glasses
- the paper cover for a pair of disposable chopsticks
- baby sunscreen (I'm counting this for me, because I use it, too.)
- a pack of silica gel
- Boy One's glasses, in their case
- car keys (another point for me!)
- a pen
- part of a tissue
- an empty medicine bottle

So, in total, I have six points, if and only if I count lipstick as two and the kids' sun screen as one. They, on the other hand, are responsible for the vast majority of the items I have been lugging around all week. Thanks, guys. I love you, too.

Now, who is going to pay for my chiropractor?

Comments

Post a Comment

Thank you very much for your comment! I look forward to approving it.

Popular posts from this blog

Haircuts Are More Than Just Shorter Hair

Image
I cut the baby's hair yesterday. It wasn't the first time, but it was the most significant. Previously, I had simply trimmed, shortened his baby curls in a formation that allowed for at least cursory containment. But now, I have done the irreversible. His baby curls are gone, likely to never return, and with this unique action, with the use of a simple machine to trim and cut and shape, he has irrevocably left the baby world for the world of an older sort. He has become, with no reservations, a toddler. In the conservative Jewish tradition, a boy's hair is not cut until he is three year's old. Once he has arrived at this ripe old age, there is a ceremony called an  upshernish , an event in which members of the religious community ceremoniously cut the child's hair, a symbolic cutting away of  infancy as the small human enters into childhood and the beginning of his formal education. It is at this point that the boy...
Read more

Building Community with a Non-binding Vote

Image
As my little blog has now earned its first pennies, I thought it time to spend more than 3,000% of my earnings on business cards while simultaneously keeping my day job. However, here is where you, dear reader, can contribute and show your love for my continued reflections and rantings. Here, you can take a moment of your precious life to vote on which style of card from the "Elegent" list on Vistaprint best embodies the style, mood, and tone of my illustrious blog.  Yes, I know what you're thinking. How could one tiny rectangle of heavyweight cardstock possibly do justice to all that my blog contains? Well, obviously, or at least hopefully, it can't, but at least you can have some input as to which example does the least crappy job. I will take all votes into consideration, then do whatever I want to do anyway. Artists and writers are fickle and capricious like that. And with all seriousness, thank you for reading my blog. It brings me great joy to know that...
Read more

Victims of Anger

Angry people do angry things. They throw papers off of the table, Scatter dinner across the floor, And refuse to brush their teeth, Unconcerned by the consiquences. The older one sings a song Despite requests for quiet. He repeats, louder each time, Disrupting the ever-shrinking peace. The small one cries. Not the cry of the sad, but the cry of the angry. Angry that he is small; angry that he cannot speak, And his anger seethes out, staining the hopeful darkness of the night. No one rests. No one sleeps. Everyone lives in the angry, vengeful rage. And yet, we still dream of sleep... Peaceful, restorative sleep. Perhaps, one day, it will come, As easily as the sunset, As quiet as the moon. Until then, we suffer, Victims of our own choices. Victims of the children we were born to love.
Read more